Today Is A Tough Day

Today is a difficult day for our house. We started the day with a trip to the Orthopedic Pediatrician. Just a check up, nothing to difficult. But that's not the difficult part.

One year ago we lost one of cats to cancer. I wrote a long tear-filled blog post when it happened, but I could not bring myself to post it. It was hard. You would think working in veterinary oncology for 6 years would make it easier to deal, but it wasn't. I knew what it was the first time I noticed the tumor. I knew what a tumor looked like and what it felt like and I know the prognosis for oral squamous cell carcinoma. But it didn't lessen the blow one bit. Then seeing a friend and college instantly look at me with that look when he checked her out, hit me harder then I expected. I knew. I knew what is was before he checked, but you always hope it's nothing and you are over reacting. 

It was hard. So very hard.

It was hard because she was such a good cat and she had the most amazing relationship with my daughter. She waited outside her door every morning and then basically attacked her with headbutts the second she got up. My daughter was only two, but she understands what happened and she still talks about her. I hope that she has at least a little glimmer of a memory of her favorite cat for the rest of her life. 

I got a card in the mail yesterday from the vet and started crying immediately. The vet that came to our house and helped her at the end was amazing. She was thoughtful and caring. It made it so much easier to do it in the comfort of our house. Toonces hated car rides and the thought of forcing her into the car was too much for me to bare. It was a peaceful process and we knew she would no longer be in pain. 

So today is hard. It's harder then I thought it would be. I've been watching the day approach and I thought I would be okay, but here I am crying. But I'm going to make sure to remember the good times and your sweet little meow (even though you were a beast of a cat).  

Today is a sad day, but it is also a day of remembrance. Death is just part of the journey. You will be remembered fluffy butt and you will be celebrated today. We will look at all the funny pictures of you and remember how great of a cat you were. We miss you so much. You were and always will be part of our family. 

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